FLIPSIDE

Pope Alexander VI

The man pictured above is the poster boy for Catholic debauchery. His name was Pope Alexander VI. He wasn’t the first, nor the last, of a string of simply sinful popes. In fact if he had a trading card the back might read something like this:

“Achievements: Successfully started the world’s first recorded crime family, sired at least four bastard children, hosted orgies within the walls of the Vatican, and shunned the poor in favor of flamboyant decadence.

Good Qualities: Severe loyalty to kith and kin (even to the point of almost plunging Italy into all out war just so his bastard children could have the life he wanted for them. Awe.)

Scandals: Still being accused of breaking up his daughter’s marriage in favor if an incestuous relationship with himself, whispered to be involved in a few choice assassinations, and oh yes, there was that whole mistress and string of wild Vatican orgy parties…

God’s Judgment: Death by slow intestinal bleeding.”

Charming guy that pope Alexander VI. Rumor has it his entire bastard clan were murderous and drunk on power. And so the love spread, long after his death. Just the fact he wasn’t stabbed or poisoned is a small miracle in itself. I’m just using him to illustrate a point. The papacy is full of scandals, rife for the pages of Catholic Inquirer.

More Papal Oopsies

Pope Stephen VI
was probably the perpetrator of the most bizarre event in papal history. After being elected to be pope he had his predecessor exhumed from his grave, brought into court, and tried for various crimes. The corpse was unsurprisingly found guilty as sin and his three blessing fingers were hacked off as punishment. He was then reburied before he was dug up once again in order to be thrown into the Tiber. Forgiveness anyone?

Pope John XII
didn’t even have a good start. He was said to have been born to a fourteen year old mother, sired by a man who was both his father and grandfather. Never one to shun tradition he continued this Oedipal cycle of dysfunction and also took his mother on as a lover. He was only eighteen when he became pope and only twenty-seven when he left it, by way of death. Rumor has it he was murdered during a jealous rage when the husband of one of his mistresses walked in on them in bed. This would indeed be a fitting end to a pope who was such a womanizer he was have said to have violated virgins and widows alike and had so many women filing in and out of the Vatican that everyone said it had been turned into a brothel. Sex wasn’t his only downfall though; he was rumored to have murdered several people and was fond of hacking off his enemies limbs. Far from being a saint I think this pope was trying to reach a new record of depravity.

Pope Benedict IX:
Depending on what sources you believe Pope Benedict IX was given the papacy anywhere between eleven and twenty years of age. St. Peter Damian accused him of routinely screwing other men and his four legged friends amongst other crimes. Apparently that wasn’t even scratching the surface when it came to grievances thrust into his direction. Bishop Benno of Piacenza accused him of committing, “many vile adulteries and murders.” He was also accused of rape and murder by his eventual successor before he decided to be the first and only pope to bring the free market to the papacy, selling his position to his Godfather John Gratian.
Pope Boniface VIII decided to take the free market a bit further and was accused of simony (that’s accepting cash for appointing religious positions) in Dante’s infamous Divine Comedy. Though he was alive at the time he showed an uncharacteristic apathy and didn’t order Dante tortured, maimed, or killed. Lucky Dante!
Pope Urban II cowed France into attacking the Muslim world, throwing the region into five hundred years of religious warfare, which as you can see by the current day turned out remarkably well…

Pope Urban VI
is best remembered for his gratuitously violent nature. Like any true psychopath he was said to have complained when his enemies didn’t “scream loud enough” under torture. God apparently likes screaming more then He likes hymns.

Pope John XXII
was the first to persecute “witches.” Although he was the richest man in the entire world at the time he was still not happy with his lot in life. He deemed that all the “witches” and “heretics” could be accused after death and that all their land should be seized.

Pope Sixtus IV
authorized the Spanish Inquisition and all it’s various forms of torture to gently convince the Jews, Moors, and Heretics that Catholic love and compassion were the way to God. While all this was going on it’s rumored that Pope Sixtus IV was busy fathering children with his eldest sister and carrying on several bisexual relationships. Not surprisingly he was also said to have suffered from syphilis. God’s wrath? Maybe for him.

Pope Gregory XII
burned John Huss of Bohemia at the stake after declaring his safety from such a fate. His crime? He spoke out against papal corruption. The pope’s response? “When dealing with heretics, one is not obligated to keep his word.”

Pope John XXIII
reigned for five years (1410-1415) before he pissed off so many other Catholics that he was striped of his title and declared anti-pope. So what was so bad about this mobsteresque pope? For one he decided to terrorize the students at the University of Bologna by demanding they pay a price to be protected from violent thugs who just happened to be under his order. That’s not what earned him his anti-pope title though, that had to be credited to the accusations of murder, rape, sodomy, incest, and piracy.

Pope Urban XIII
struck up a friendship with a young Galileo which is probably what spared his life later on when the pope tried him for heresy. Galileo was sentenced to life imprisonment which was later changed into house arrest. He died nine years later still under house arrest for claiming that a spherical earth revolved around the sun. This decree of heresy was not lifted until 350 years later.

Pius XII
reputation comes from his lack of action rather then from anything he did personally. He was the pope during Hitler’s reign of terror and didn’t so much as speak one direct harsh word about the man who was slaughtering millions. Hitler was Catholic after all and never antagonized the papacy (which is apparently the one way to get excommunicated.) His continuing refusal to say anything against the Nazi party lasted throughout the war with lame excuses being put forth behind the reasoning as to why this was. He claimed he would not decry any individual atrocities publicly and when faced with the Holocaust he merely claimed there wasn’t enough evidence it was actually happening. Perhaps he was afraid of pissing off a people who could easily kill him. But then again, for someone who is supposed to be the closest man to God his moral senses should have outweighed any thought of self-preservation. After all Jesus didn’t seem particularly keen on pussyfooting around the corrupt people of his era. Catholicism and Christianity love martyrs!

Pope John Paul II
, our current pope, was also part of Hitler’s Youth. This would probably disqualify him for political positions if he went that route instead of the papacy. Though he’s publicly condemned all forms of birth control and gay marriage, his only reaction to the pedophile priest scandals was merely to issue a feeble apology for 2000 years worth of pedophile church swapping, record burying, and secret payoffs to families for not denouncing the church publicly. He never condemned the behavior and only started defrocking priests when the masses started to put intense pressure on him to do so. Even so not that many priests were let go compared to what are likely out there. Apparently pedophilia is a more forgivable sin then birth control.

I can’t smile all the time, I can’t pretend to be someone they want me to be,…

but I also don’t want them to see my weakness, for it only gives the image that I am in need. no, no way ..

Everyone feels sorrow at some point of their life, it can’t be always sunny, there would always be that rainy day, I am not alone, it’s how you handle this that tells you who you are.

I am Not weak and I am not in need,

so, lets get back to reality

I need to put on my gameface, and wear my Iron mask . let’s play

In Filipino Blogosphere, Politics on April 17, 2010 at 8:48 pm
1 Votes

Dear ABS-CBN,

I fear that most of my countrymen will be voting for either Noynoy or Manny.

In which case, I want to know what my countrymen are getting me into and so, I would like to request that you guys get a reporter or two (it doesn’t have to be Ces Drilon or another one of your major assets) to ask Noynoy’s former classmates about him.

Here’s the comment, urging me to share information revealed by one of Noynoy’s classmates:

I saw this in a forum, this was written by a former classmate of Noynoy in Ateneo.. if you can share make this a note so para malaman ng maraming tao talaga kung sino si Noynoy

We were classmates at the Ateneo and I have no doubt that you would remember me even if we were not close. Hint: I was one of those who ribbed you about the low grade that Fr. Kreutz gave you in math because you could never seem to get your fractions right. Remember going ballistic over that ribbing?

Anyway, reading the psychological report that was posted on the Internet a few days ago certainly made me remember you. I heard you say on the news that the report was fake but you did admit that there were some things in it that were true. “Part truths” I think were your exact words. It fascinated me enough to want to read the report carefully to check out which were those things that were true. … See More… See More

Obvious things first, those facts that any of our classmates can confirm if asked. One of these is, as the report says, you have a labile disorder. This is whole truth. Even Fr. Gorospe would be distracted by your drooling during our oral exams. Fr. Ferriols, who made a point of showing he didn’t like you, would make side comments about it that led your classmates to give you the nickname “Cooper,” a reference to Cupertino school where we would teach Catechism to retarded children. I, however, never called you Cooper…. See More

The report says that you have a “major depressive disorder.” Well, I honestly don’t know if that is true. What I do know is that in school you were very temperamental and had sudden mood swings. Isang minuto, nakikikain ka kay brudda francis, maya’t maya nagagalit ka na. Many of our classmates can attest to witnessing scenes like this.

The report said that you used to go with your mom to see Dr. Manuel Escudero. That is a whole truth. I remember seeing you at Tito Maning’s high rise apartment on Roxas Boulevard when we were still kids. Tito Maning was a consultant with the WHO here in Manila but he was also a psychiatrist who treated only the high society people in Manila. Even Imelda Marcos was his patient. Unfortunately, so was my mom who suffered from insecurities due to my dad’s numerous infidelities. Tito Maning’s wife, Tita Jo, was a very good artist who had a couple of exhibits of her work before they left Manila for good a few years after martial law was declared. They lived in Topeka, Kansas. After they left, I kept a correspondence for a while with their very cute daughter Nina who I am sure you remember. I had such a crush on her. Maybe you did too. She used to talk to us “little folk” in the sala of their apartment while the “big folk” would lock themselves in the room and discuss “big folk” matters. She wanted to go to ballet school or some dance school which she did, I think, and I eventually lost track of her.

About your smoking marijuana, I also can’t say if that is wholly true. What I do know is that you would try to tag along with a group of students that would hang out with Ma’am Gloria Arroyo. Mga students niya sa Economics. She was always surrounded by bright and handsome students kaya hindi ka pinapansin. Pati si Ma’am Placer, she never gave you the time of day kasi people said you were “medyo weird” and your grades were mababa per her standards. Pero, you still tried to hang out with those guys. Trying hard to belong ba. I know those guys would drink na kasama pa si Miss Rosales na pag lasing na, kumakanta ng Spanish songs in Spanish. They would drink dozens of bottles of beer at Shakey’s Katipunan because Mrs. Ramos (our Spanish teacher in case you don’t remember) owned the restaurant. This group was also known to also smoke joints in the college auditorium, up in the closed space where the spotlights were. So, if you were hanging out with them then, you were probably also smoking marijuana too.

We cannot change the cards that we are dealt with, it’s how we play the game.

-The last lecture

I remembered something today, so I’m writing it so I can get back to sleep, There was one episode in House M.D When Dr. Foreman (the black doctor) had a patient who was a total junkie, lost all self respect and control over her addiction, all she wanted in life was to get high, Dr. foreman treated her with less care than what the profession as a doctor demanded. He thought that if this person doesn’t even care about her life then why should we? There are millions of people who care enough to pull their life back together, they deserve a second chance, this person doesn’t, the junkie noticing this said to him “just because you’re a doctor and I’m an addict doesn’t make you better than me, You and I are not that different, the only difference is you made good decisions and I didn’t”

Again, for me this reallytrue yet so frustrating. Our actions of course has related consequences, which is a fact, it even has a law in physics, but what if our decisions was somehow influenced by spontaneous variables? It’s easy to decide to be law abiding, god fearing and such, but what if you were forced to make a decision because of certain uncontrolled variables? (Environment, peer pressure, finance, religion, family expectations, morality etc) all these play parts in our lives. But of course decisions are influenced from what we feel and what situation we are in, but how did we get there in the first place? If a building was on fire, naturally your decision would be to get the hell outta there! But if you have a friend, a family member inside that building you wouldn’t right? You would check first try to see if their safe, or if you’re just self centered, you leave them to die. Or maybe you just can’t risk your life because you have a family to feed. This outweighs the risk involved. From this example alone, there are 5 variables, family, finance, environment, religion or moral belief (morality) actually more if you think deeper.

Those (what if’s) until today haunt me, and I know I’m not the only one, what if I followed my parents advice? What if I studied a little harder? What if I realized this a little sooner? What If I said yes? What if I said no? What if I didn’t let her/him go? These minor decisions sometimes affect our life in a major way, the so called “Butterfly effect”.



But how can we say that what we chose was right or wrong? Sometimes it may seem right, but then you realize it isn’t, it may seem wrong now, but what if it isn’t?

-confused